As I sit here on October 29th, daylight is being clipped at an alarming rate of 4 minutes per day.
September
When September rolls on in and Labor day signals the unofficial end to summer, I am still in a good place. The lingering memories of school beginning in September, and summer “officially” ending on the 21st make this one of my most hated months. As Green Day put it best, “Wake me when September ends” Hell, wake me when April begins. To be fair, September is one of the nicest months, from a weather perspective. The nights are still mild, brilliant sun drenched days, and spectacular sunrise and sets are quite common. Invigorating Harvest moons, dry air masses, brilliant luminescent foliage and the waning presence of pesky insects are also fine reasons to enjoy September. The 21st brings the equinox, and perhaps one of the finer days of the lunar calendar. It also marks the raging battle between darkness and daylight being slowly won over by the former.
When September rolls on in and Labor day signals the unofficial end to summer, I am still in a good place. The lingering memories of school beginning in September, and summer “officially” ending on the 21st make this one of my most hated months. As Green Day put it best, “Wake me when September ends” Hell, wake me when April begins. To be fair, September is one of the nicest months, from a weather perspective. The nights are still mild, brilliant sun drenched days, and spectacular sunrise and sets are quite common. Invigorating Harvest moons, dry air masses, brilliant luminescent foliage and the waning presence of pesky insects are also fine reasons to enjoy September. The 21st brings the equinox, and perhaps one of the finer days of the lunar calendar. It also marks the raging battle between darkness and daylight being slowly won over by the former.
October
Ah yes October, harvest, pumpkins, and the first bite to the once tepid air. Don’t be fooled, October plain sucks! Daylight is now being swept away at a frightening rate, leaves are beginning to accumulate on the yard, and the snow is not far behind. Sounds of the furnace jumping to life in the night signaling money being drained from the budget is always a welcome sound. Mornings once filled with brilliant sunshine, birds singing and scores of people out and about are now pitch dark and silent. Carefree and energetic morning activities, are being replaced by mandatory time depleting aggravating chores. A drink from the hose after a morning run, or pulling a weed or two out of the garden has become ice scraping, wood stove detail, furnace management and god forbid snow shoveling. Breezes are now wind, showers are rain and cool means cold.
Ah yes October, harvest, pumpkins, and the first bite to the once tepid air. Don’t be fooled, October plain sucks! Daylight is now being swept away at a frightening rate, leaves are beginning to accumulate on the yard, and the snow is not far behind. Sounds of the furnace jumping to life in the night signaling money being drained from the budget is always a welcome sound. Mornings once filled with brilliant sunshine, birds singing and scores of people out and about are now pitch dark and silent. Carefree and energetic morning activities, are being replaced by mandatory time depleting aggravating chores. A drink from the hose after a morning run, or pulling a weed or two out of the garden has become ice scraping, wood stove detail, furnace management and god forbid snow shoveling. Breezes are now wind, showers are rain and cool means cold.
November
Because I was born on the 12th day of November, 1961, it is hard to hate on this month. After all, this is when those idiots from England made the trek over here and decided to stake claim to a region with a climate that took scores of lives every winter. November sucks! Just when October ushers in perhaps the first snow fall, we are greeted by darkness both to and from work, we launch into the beginnings of REAL winter. The end to Daylight savings is when the plug on summer is officially pulled. Any evidence of summer is tucked away into sheds, garages and basements. By the end of the month, the sun has struggled to rise at 7:02 only to plummet at 4:22, I am ready to put a gun to my head. The average high temperature has gone from 67 degrees to 42 in just two months. Storm windows firmly in place insuring no fresh air will enter the house for nearly 5 months.
December
I will now blow right on through December, because it sucks more than November. Full winter garb, skyrocketing heating bills, and no sight of weather relief in sight. Christmas, in all of it’s splendor, is wrecked by greed, commercialization and a boat load of un necessary aggravation. The only thing worse than dragging that $50 tree into the living room, is pulling all of that crap off of it and hauling it back out side in time for the “waste management team” to bring it to it’s fiery end. The glimmer of hope in a month that just plain sucks which will be followed by a month that sucks even more, is on the 21st . The “shortest” day of the year, or the winter solstice. This marks the upward climb out of total darkness.
I will now blow right on through December, because it sucks more than November. Full winter garb, skyrocketing heating bills, and no sight of weather relief in sight. Christmas, in all of it’s splendor, is wrecked by greed, commercialization and a boat load of un necessary aggravation. The only thing worse than dragging that $50 tree into the living room, is pulling all of that crap off of it and hauling it back out side in time for the “waste management team” to bring it to it’s fiery end. The glimmer of hope in a month that just plain sucks which will be followed by a month that sucks even more, is on the 21st . The “shortest” day of the year, or the winter solstice. This marks the upward climb out of total darkness.
January
By mid January, if you haven’t put that gun to your head and pulled the trigger, it’s only a matter of time. The snow is piling up outside, and the let down of the holiday fiasco is a bad combination. By now, every piece of life sustaining machinery in your world is starting to crack. First it’s the furnace acting up, then the snow blower won’t start or the car battery dies. But that ever presence of flirting with disaster can not be scoured from the back of our minds. The financial and emotional catastrophe that is looming in someone’s life. A bursted pipe causing countless fits of rage and frustration. A complete furnace melt down requiring HVAC guy to swing on over and mill around at $100 an hour before breaking the news that you need a new boiler. Of course, not being able to walk everywhere, and likely freezing to death in an attempt, it is only a matter of time before the precious sled, (family car) slides off the road, or into another oncoming sled.
By mid January, if you haven’t put that gun to your head and pulled the trigger, it’s only a matter of time. The snow is piling up outside, and the let down of the holiday fiasco is a bad combination. By now, every piece of life sustaining machinery in your world is starting to crack. First it’s the furnace acting up, then the snow blower won’t start or the car battery dies. But that ever presence of flirting with disaster can not be scoured from the back of our minds. The financial and emotional catastrophe that is looming in someone’s life. A bursted pipe causing countless fits of rage and frustration. A complete furnace melt down requiring HVAC guy to swing on over and mill around at $100 an hour before breaking the news that you need a new boiler. Of course, not being able to walk everywhere, and likely freezing to death in an attempt, it is only a matter of time before the precious sled, (family car) slides off the road, or into another oncoming sled.
February
January in the rearview mirror is a relief of sorts. This of course if you haven’t taken your life yet. If you’ve been fortunate enough to sidestep any of the catastrophic maladies aforementioned in January, perhaps February can be the magic month. Once the Super bowl is over, we are once again plumeted into even deeper despair and dark depression. Unless you have a birthday in February, or hate football, why would you not just end it all in the 3rd week of this god fore saken month. As we climb up the sucking scale from late October through March, we have hit a new high water mark with this gem of a month.
January in the rearview mirror is a relief of sorts. This of course if you haven’t taken your life yet. If you’ve been fortunate enough to sidestep any of the catastrophic maladies aforementioned in January, perhaps February can be the magic month. Once the Super bowl is over, we are once again plumeted into even deeper despair and dark depression. Unless you have a birthday in February, or hate football, why would you not just end it all in the 3rd week of this god fore saken month. As we climb up the sucking scale from late October through March, we have hit a new high water mark with this gem of a month.
March
Now if I had to pick a month that I could euthanize, it would have to be March. Other than St. Patrick’s day, is there any reason to not loath this month. At least February has 28 days, this crappy ass month is one of the “big 31” dayers. Snow, wind, bitter cold and not one freeking holiday, Even Easter has to be on Sunday and screw us out of a day off. I will say that this is perhaps the last gasp of winter, but that is a key piece of why March is glossed in my dictionary as the worst month on the calendar. Days of mid 50’s are routinely followed by 3 feet of wet snow. This is truly the count down to the end of winter, the days are getting “longer” and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sunrise is now at 6:30 and setting at 7:19PM. Spring is in the air. You can now put the revolver back in the drawer till next winter.
Now if I had to pick a month that I could euthanize, it would have to be March. Other than St. Patrick’s day, is there any reason to not loath this month. At least February has 28 days, this crappy ass month is one of the “big 31” dayers. Snow, wind, bitter cold and not one freeking holiday, Even Easter has to be on Sunday and screw us out of a day off. I will say that this is perhaps the last gasp of winter, but that is a key piece of why March is glossed in my dictionary as the worst month on the calendar. Days of mid 50’s are routinely followed by 3 feet of wet snow. This is truly the count down to the end of winter, the days are getting “longer” and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sunrise is now at 6:30 and setting at 7:19PM. Spring is in the air. You can now put the revolver back in the drawer till next winter.
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